Very Thankful Thursday

This Thursday we have a lot to be thankful for! I cannot tell you how incredibly thankful we are for matching, and for matching exactly where we did. We truly feel like we beat the odds matching in neurosurgery coming from a school that didn't even have a residency program. We just feel so fortunate.

We do know some people that didn't match, and it broke our hearts, as they are great people. We can only hope that their new paths will end up better than expected, but there is no doubt that they are having a challenging time accepting the unexpected. Unfortunately with "match," crap happens. Every year there is always at least one, if not several unexpected results. (And I swear I am not trying to scare any of you), but there is always a qualified applicant who for some reason doesn't match, or there is some rock star candidate who matches at their #9 even though everyone thought she was going to her #1. It just happens. I am not trying to scare anyone, just reminding you that no matter how certain something may seem, there is no certainty, in medicine, or in the match. So if you can, let go and accept it for what it is. Out of your control.

For Drew and I it meant a lot of praying, both in deciding his specialty and in applying and ranking our programs. Most importantly though, is how we prayed. We didn't pray for program X, or to be in state K. We prayed that God's will would be done, and that we could accept whatever that would be. And therefore we truly are at peace (and excited) about where we are headed. We feel that we are going exactly where we are meant to go. (Hopefully I will still feel that way in seven years!). And my motto: expect the worst, hope for the best.

And finally, for those of you who are third years, or married to third years. The anticipation of match is much worse than the actual thing. Last year, the night before match, Drew and I couldn't sleep, we were horrified that next year it would be our year. But oddly enough we actually were able to get some sleep the night before match day this year. So as scared as you are now, really it only gets better, because with time you learn to accept the uncertainty and all the possibilities. And also, it flies by! Before you know it you will be looking back and wondering where your fourth year of medical school went!

And being thankful for matching, here are a few more photos from last week.

After we found out the news we made calls to our family and friends to share the good news.

Drew with my fabulous sister and my awesome nephews

Wearing our awesome t-shirts! Thanks again Lindsay!

The soon-to-be doctor and me

Taking shots with my girls Lindsay and Shannon

At the beginning of the bar crawl

We are so thankful, I cannot tell you how blessed we feel.

We are going to be fine.

Just fine. I realized this today as I was driving home from my weekend visit to see Drew. As we are currently five months out from Match day - the day that we will find out what and where we will be going/staying for the next 6-9 years. And six to nine years is a serious amount of time. This whole process is a big one, because I will have to live with whatever it brings. But after spending this weekend with Drew at Away Rotation #3, it made me realize that home, will be home because I am with Drew. And although I may have a hard time with the future, and I may have adjustment issues and I may have meltdowns in the process; I will adjust. And we will be okay. Spending this weekend in the new town with Drew, there were moments when I could see myself living in that town, and being happy. And I know that it is not the only place I will be able to be happy. Each town and city will have things that make it feel like home. And most importantly, wherever I go, will be with Drew, and that alone will make everything okay. It made me realize that I just have to continue to have faith in God. And he will take care of us. And we will be just fine.

My shelf

Do you have a shelf, box, case, or bookshelf where you put things that are important to you? I do. I have a shelf that I put my most precious items on. In fact they go in a box, and I tie that box with a bow, and then I put them on the shelf. This shelf is very important in my life and it is necessary for my sanity. I know that my most precious items are safe when they are on that shelf. But I have some what of a problem. I take my stuff off the shelf and take them out of the box and I lose them (and my head).
This has been a big issue lately. Our future is one of those precious things that belongs in the box. With all of this applying to residency programs my mind has been consumed with the match process. Its something that I have no control over. But I cannot control myself, my mind is constantly drifting to the what-ifs of our future. And all this worrying has led to no good. I have had stomach problems in the past but they seem to have resurfaced. But part of me believes they are somewhat self-inflicted (or worsened) by the fact that I have become consumed by this whole process. But as I've already said, it is all out of my control. And it is no use worrying over things that may never happen. So tonight I am again putting all my worries, and thoughts about our future back in that precious box. I am tying it with a bow. And then I am placing it up on that high shelf. On that shelf it is in God's hands. I will let go, and trust in Him. All things are safe in His hands.
It is only a matter of time before I take it off the shelf again, but I suppose that is only part of being human. Thank goodness I have family and friends to constantly remind me to refocus, reevaluate, re-anchor and put the box where it belongs. On my shelf. Because I don't have control. And worrying won't help me gain any control.