I had a mini panic attack

today when I was talking to a coworker about loans. She was telling me how her loans are in deferment for a year due to "economic hardship." I guess this is an option I could have taken as well but I chose not to. This option allows you to take this option if your income is low (or you loan payments are high) and it puts off your payments while the interest continues to accrue. I was discussing to her how I hope there is some kind of deferment for Drew's residency. (Gosh it is making me so anxious just talking about this). Turns out that they used to have such a deferment but it no longer exists. While we will still qualify for the economic hardship for the maximum length (3 years) after that we will have to begin repayment... and this is what really freaked me out... my co-worker was telling me that her boyfriends loan payments are $600 a month - six hundred dollars a month! The horrifying part is that I am sure that his loans are not nearly as much as the amount Drew will have acquired for four years of medical school. (And don't get me wrong his going to a STATE school means he has still only acquired a fraction of the loans he would have acquired at a private medical school - and the same goes for my education as well). It just has me thinking - how much will our loan payments be? And even more I wonder how do people do it? Families in particular. I mean if you go to a private medical school you can rack up two hundred or three hundred thousand in debt very easily. And then you figure the average residency pay is $45,000... how on earth would you manage to make those payment and live on that salary if you had KIDS - especially if you were the sole provider? These things are all beginning to cross my mind because I have started to realize that with a residency of 6-8 years, Drew and I will not be able to wait to have kids until after he is out. We realistically do not want to wait until we are 34 or 35 to start having kids. Which these thoughts only get the wheels spinning and I begin to wonder how on earth we are going to afford day care with our salaries and those ridiculous loan payments that I have dreamed up in my head. . .
Surprise - I've gotten ahead of myself. And so I must constantly continue to remind myself that I shouldn't worry over potential problems that may not exist. I also have to remind myself that God will always provide. All I do is have to look around right now, and although things are tight, He has managed to give us enough that we can take care of all our bills and most importantly we are truly RICH where it counts - with love from family and friends.
After reading this post aren't you glad you don't live in my brain? In my defense - being an extreme worry wart runs in my family!