Monday, June 29, 2009

Being apart

As I mentioned yesterday, Drew and I had been living apart for the past four weeks. Now it wasn't something that I particularly enjoyed, I realize that it was a good experience for us. It made me realize a few things, and also reminded me very much of before we were married when we would live for the weekends, to be together.
The first week apart I must admit I had a hard time adjusting. First of all he was gone and I missed him. Second of all, almost every time I called he was busy and he needed to call me back. I took this personally and would get really annoyed and almost angry. (I don't think he realized this). It took me a few days to realize that it was not his fault that he was in the middle of something when I called, and that it wasn't going to always work out that we were available to talk at the same time. Once I got over that I was able to enjoy our short phone calls rather than be resentful that he didn't pick up the phone the first time I called.
It was also an adjustment because I had expected we would talk on the phone for longer periods when we did. But I think we are both out of the habit of long phone conversations. For the most part we had quick conversations that were short and sweet, exchanging casualties,the "I love yous," and that was it. (I also think that my train of thought is so random and sporadic that when I actually spoke to him I forgot if there was anything important to say.) It sounds terrible, but we really hardly connected during the week. But then on the weekends when we saw each other we found ourselves talking non-stop filling each other in about our everyday details and the mundane stuff that just seemed silly to talk about over the phone. We also found ourselves really appreciating each other's company on the weekends. The time apart made me really focus on giving him all my attention when we were actually together. (For example I tried not to blog or facebook on the weekends).
I'm going to try and take these things and put them in my memory bank for when he has his away rotations later this year, and for when he starts residency next year. Realistically I know these four weeks were nothing (we saw each other every weekend), and that there will be times next year when I will be lucky to see him (awake) a few days a month (even though we will be living under the same roof). So, I think it is important to remember these feelings I have now and realize that I can either be resentful about the time apart or the inconvenience of it, or I can choose to consciously make an effort to appreciate and make the most of the time we do have together.
I do realize I will likely still have hard weeks and months (or even years) during residency, but for now I am going to remember how much I missed my husband the past four weeks. I seriously am treasuring every moment I have with him, and it has reminded me just how much I love him and spending every moment with him (and its also nice to have him back because he is quite the grill master and irons all my clothes) ;)

1 comment:

Michelle said...

I'm the same way with my boyfriend this summer! He's a couple hours away in his hometown working all summer, so I see him every other weekend or so. I definitely quit taking the little things for granted now that I don't get to see him every day.