Sunday, April 25, 2010

Harder than I thought

I am still here, just very busy. But I figured I’d try and spend some time to post a quick update of what has occurred in the last month or so.

First, that housing I was talking about... well, we are hoping to purchase a place but I was nervous to actually say that until we got a little further along in the process. You never know what an inspection will show and we weren’t sure if we would be able to get the appropriate financing. But right now it looks like it just might happen! In about three weeks we should be mortgage holders!

So for us right now, I am job hunting (no luck yet). Drew is finishing up classes. We are looking to close in 3 weeks. We are also trying to order flooring/carpeting for our new place because the current stuff is about 25 years old and completely disgusting (I want new stuff installed before we move in). Graduation is in 4 weeks. And we plan to move in 5 weeks.

I am a little overwhelmed to say the least. And to be totally honest, this whole process is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I guess I figured this would be an easy transition considering we are moving somewhere I want to go. But I still find myself struggling some days to accept all the change coming our way. I think part of it is that I am overwhelmed about all that has to get done before now and moving day, and part of it is just because I don’t do well with change.
Now that I am finally comfortable with Springfield, have come to enjoy the area, and it has come to feel like home, I am being uprooted and transplanted somewhere else. It will be a new home, new neighborhood, new church, new bank, (hopefully) new job.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very excited about starting the next step in our journey, but I still find myself struggling with letting go with our life here. Its so odd because this is the last thing I expected considering where we are headed. I had anticipating struggling if we were moving a location I did not want to go, but we are staying in the midwest, and going to a city I am excited about. I never expected there to be such a disconnect between my head and my heart. I'm almost upset with myself for struggling with it so much. It feels silly to be so sad at times.

I guess the best way to describe it is bittersweet, and right now it seems a lot more bitter than sweet... but I know that once we get there, and I adjust, it will be very sweet.

12 comments:

Jamie said...

I couldn't agree more with this post. We're about to move a the city we both love. In a lot of ways our dreams are coming true. Oh, and I HATE where we live now. But I'm still having all the same feelings that you are. I guess it's just the logistical stress and transitional instability. Hang in there xo

Jenny said...

I'm sure it's very stressful and scary and exciting all at the same time. I imagine once you are there and all this build up is over, you will feel much better. Good luck job hunting.

Kelsey Claire @Lavender, Leopard, and Lace said...

Oh my! I got a little stressed just reading this! I know it is a very exciting time, but I know it is stressful! The end result will be magical!

Mèimei's little Designs said...

What you are feeling is completely normal. I think I was depressed for the first year of residency. Though I was SO excited for medical school to be over and for residency to finally begin, I was devastated moving on from all of our medical school friends who had really been our family for 4 years. We all moved away but it was still heart wrenching. Starting over is a scary thing even if you're "excited" about the start. I hope that your transition goes well and I can't wait to hear about all your new adventures.

Emily Kathleen said...

My husband is just about to start his third year of med school and as we get closer and closer to residency I'm starting to think about all the things you said! It was so hard leaving all our college friends behind and moving to Virginia for him to go to med school, the thought of leaving all our new friends and lives here behind in two years is so difficult!

Ams said...

Change is hard... that's the bottom line!!
Even if it is good change. I know how you're feeling - but things will work out the way they are supposed to right? And in the end, it all comes together. Just hard to see it right now. Take it one step at a time!

Jessica @ Acting Adult said...

I think moving ANYWHERE is stressful, be it across the world or across the street. Add the fact that you're buying a house, and graduating and you've got even more stress!

But don't worry about it - everything will work out!

lawschoolwife said...

I'm not in your shoes yet, but I can only imagine the mess I will be if/when we move from Austin having lived here for five years already and having put down real roots here. There are a few cities that are "on my list" for post-law school graduation, but I can't say that I'd be happy to move to any of them because I will be so sad to close the Austin chapter of our lives. I can barely leave apartments I've hated simply because I have loved my time I spent with my husband there so much.

Mourn the closing of one chapter, and when you're ready, embrace the new one :)

Kristin @ the Waiting Game said...

I am sorry you are stressed! I would be having the same feelings! Good luck with the changes! Once the transition has been made, I bet you will feel better!

cwjohnson said...

Best of luck with the job search...once you get that taken care of the rest will fall into place!

DeDe said...

Good luck with everything. I would love to know where you are headed. Shoot me an e-mail! Us midwest gals have to stick together :)

Anonymous said...

I bookmarked this post for times (like right now) when I'm feeling the same exact way...knowing that there are others out there who completely get it is a huge huge relief & alleviates whatever form of isolating overwhelming anxiety I'm feeling at the moment....thank you :)